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[byrned]

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[byrned]

[ matt screws his face up. Like that's really weird. ]

I can't imagine you getting fucked [ which he isn't really supposed to imagine but that's not the point. ]

How do you, you know, like it.

[cravating]

Depends on if they're any good, doesn't it? Can't be too big or it's just painful. But no one like a tiny cock, do they?

[byrned]

You've seen my cock. You know it's not tiny.

[ why is he making this about his own dick? Like he's going to fuck him. Who knows ]

[cravating]

No, it's not. [He feels a little warm all over. What are they even talking about? Oh right.]

Sam's was a little bigger.

[No, it wasn't. So why would he say that?]

[byrned]

[ Matt shifts like it pisses him off. There is zero reason it should. ]

Examined mine that closely have you? Yeah well you might not be saying that if I was balls deep in your backside.

[cravating]

Guess we'll never know.

[byrned]

Your fucking loss mate, believe me. You can admit it you know, that you'd like me to fuck you.

[cravating]

Have you fuck me? Never crossed my mind actually.

[orly nathaniel??]

[byrned]

Seriously? You've never thought about me fucking you? Not even once?

[ Don't sound so disappointed, Matt ]

[cravating]

I don't go after straight guys.

[Doesnt actually answer the question]

Doesn't make sense to even think about it, does it?

[byrned]

I'm not saying I'd actually do it. But that's not how it works is it. Alice is a lesbian and I've still had a wank thinking about her. She's hot.

[cravating]

So you're asking if I've had a wank while thinking about you?

[byrned]

[ matt starts to laugh and reaches for a slice of pizza ]

No that's definitely not what I was asking. But have you?

[cravating]

Course not.

[Takes a giant bite of pizza.]

[byrned]

Fucking liar.

So if I stripped off right now and said lets go you wouldn't be interested?

You told me earlier you think I'm always hot! [ yeah he remembers stuff like that ]

[cravating]

Just because I recognize that you're attractive doesn't mean it gets me hard.

[Except it totally does]

Besides, you never would so what does it matter?

[byrned]

It's hypothetical, Nate.

You told me I had a nice dick once you know [ he starts laughing. ] Oh you don't remember that, do ya? You were fucking hammered. After that footballer bloke.

[cravating]

[His mouth opens, then closes again, thinking about another night and things that weren't remembered after too much to drink.

No. He can't say anything.]

It's not bad. Definitely not the worst I've seen.

[byrned]

Oh thanks mate, thanks. Top fucking marks there. [ he laughs again, throwing a bit of pizza crust at him. ] Least you could do is tell me I'm beautiful. Not the worst? That as good as your best mate gets?

[cravating]

It is when he's being a prick and accusing me of wanking to him.

[He throws that crust right back]

[byrned]

[ he dodges it. badly. ]

I didn't accuse, I asked. You better get your facts straight Mr. Artiste.

[cravating]

And I answered! And you kept insisting. I think you're disappointed to hear that I haven't. Bruised your ego.

[byrned]

I'm hurt, Nate. Bruised to the core. I should know you've got my back in these situations.

[cravating]

Pretty sure you've got plenty of girls around here who would be happy to help you nurse those wounds.

[byrned]

[ The weirdest thought pops into his head. So fucking weird.

But what if I want you?

What the fuck is that? He doesn't want Nate. He's not gay. Nope. Instead he picks up his phone and waves it a bit. ]

Yeah like Sal. She's a beautiful girl, right? Like all commanding and sexy and shit. Now she's someone I could take home. [ Unlike Nate. ]