Oh right. Looks like me and you will need to make our own entertainment then won't we, Nate? [ Why is he saying flirty things? No really why? That helps nothing. Matthew. Stop. But then he just wants to endear himself to Nate's parents, even if that's not the best way to go about it. ]
I'm sure you'll find some trouble to get into on your own. [Nate is...not making eye contact. Matt quit flirting. He is struggling so hard with this. Maybe Lucy was right. Maybe this is a terrible idea. Oh god.]
Now eat! Please! My wife is the best cook you'll ever meet.
Oh yeah I'm sure she is! [ Matt tucks in and hell if his dad isn't right. This is some damn good food. How is Nate still all slinky like that and not a big fat lump?
Living together? Totally going to be a good choice. ]
[Living together is good! They find they have a good rhythm, a good mix of their personalities. It helps that Nate has stars in his eyes about Matt. Around Christmas, they plan a trip, scrape together the money for it, and off they go!
Leaning his head back against the headrest, Nate looks over at Matt while he's driving.]
Okay so-- someone offers you a million pounds. But if you take it, you have to give up sex for a year, could you do it?
[ They hired a car which is either a fabulous idea or a really terrible one. Matt hasn't driven since the little knackered Ford he had back in Ireland. But ROADTRIP! ]
Okay so we talking all sex here or just like full penetration? What about wanking?
Oh come on, tugging one out so shouldn't count. It's like... medical reasons. A man has to masturbate, Nathan. You know that.
[ Because science. It's funny they can have conversations like this, given Matt's hang ups about gay people, they manage to do it surprisingly often. ]
It'd be over in two fucking minutes, mate. After a wait that long get my dick hard and it would explode on contact. And I'm going to be rich anyway. Big successful music man, that's me.
Like fuck have you. You're going to sell your weird bits of art for thousands. Future turner prize winner right here. So you get as many wanks in as you like, no need to starve yourself.
Anyway, wouldn't be fair on you, depriving yourself with this fine specimen of a man in front of you. Like putting steak in front of a homeless guy.
Hey look, I offered you a hand job for christmas, it's not my fault you didn't want it. [ No really, he had given him a card with a note in and everything. He'd thought it was hilarious. Lucy whacked him around the ear. Still funny tho. ]
[ it almost sounds like he's actually interested in finding out, and hey it has to be a first he's acting like he'd get something out of it too. But it's Christmas so hey ]
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Yeah, on our way, mum!
[When they get there, it's just so much god damn food. Mrs. Jones looks terribly pleased with herself.]
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So when are you both down until? We got your company for long?
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But we wanted to make sure you boys were settled in properly before we left.
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[
Why is he saying flirty things? No really why? That helps nothing. Matthew. Stop. But then he just wants to endear himself to Nate's parents, even if that's not the best way to go about it. ]
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Now eat! Please! My wife is the best cook you'll ever meet.
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Living together? Totally going to be a good choice. ]
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Leaning his head back against the headrest, Nate looks over at Matt while he's driving.]
Okay so-- someone offers you a million pounds. But if you take it, you have to give up sex for a year, could you do it?
[road trip hypotheticals weeee]
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Okay so we talking all sex here or just like full penetration? What about wanking?
[ This shit is important okay. ]
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[ Because science. It's funny they can have conversations like this, given Matt's hang ups about gay people, they manage to do it surprisingly often. ]
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So no money for you, I take it?
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Imagine how good the sex would be after. And you'd be stinkin rich.
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Anyway, wouldn't be fair on you, depriving yourself with this fine specimen of a man in front of you. Like putting steak in front of a homeless guy.
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Guess that makes me a vegetarian now.
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[ huff, it wasn't, but he doesn't want to think of him and Carl. Ew. Instead he turns his own car game around on him ]
Okay so a million quid. Someone gave you that but told you you had to suck my dick every day for a year. In a heartbeat right?
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Wouldn't be worth a million quid to hear you go on about what a treat it is for me.
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[ it almost sounds like he's actually interested in finding out, and hey it has to be a first he's acting like he'd get something out of it too. But it's Christmas so hey ]
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Never gonna happen, mate.
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