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[byrned]

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[cravating]

I'll be fine. [He says, trying to sound reassuring about it.]

Be quick. Longer you wait, the colder it's going to get.

[byrned]

Yeah yeah, don't I know it. I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?

[ And on that, he moves back, moves towards the road. It can't be far, right? It can't take long.

45 minutes later, he's still walking, and he's starting to realise that maybe this might not have been that good an idea. His hands are froze, and he feels like his bits might have shrunk up in fear and retracted back into his body.

Thankfully, there's a light ahead that he's been following. Good, really, given it's pitch black now. The light gets bigger, like a mirage in the sky.

It's only a bloody pub. ]

[cravating]

[Nate stays inside for about 20 minutes. Guilt eats at him more and more, and eventually he can't stand it anymore. All he can think about is Matt out there in the cold while he's sitting there, away from the harsh wind. It's not exactly warm, but he knows he's much better off than Matt.

So it's guilt that makes him unfasten his seat belt, guilt that gets him to open the car door, and guilt that gets him out into the cold air. With his coat wrapped tight around him, he looks down the road, as if he might squint and see Matt coming back.

He doesn't, of course. He tries to ignore how nervous he is about the whole thing. Turning in a slow circle, his eyes shift upward and he notices the first few stars that have already started to appear in the darkening night sky. It's the sort of beauty that can make you forget anything.

Well, almost anything.

But it's pretty enough that Nate wants to surround himself with it, so it takes him no time at all to climb on top of the car, laying back on the roof of it with both hands tucked behind his head. It doesn't taken long for the sky to be full of them, more stars than he ever thought possible. He's never seen anything like it, honestly.]

[byrned]

[ The pub is full of locals, the sort Matt expects to stop and stare as soon as he walks through the door. But they don't, in fact they're some of the nicest bunch of people he feels like he's ever met. Somehow walking inside makes him feel even colder, and his hands shake.

He tries to turn his phone back on to text Nate, but his battery is dead. Fucking typical.

Still, it seems like everyone wants to rally round to help, and before too long Matt finds himself (after being given a cup of tea he didn't really want) in a car being driven back towards Nate. Between his feed lies a full fuel can that the publican's mechanic son rushed to give to him. Not wanting to push their generosity, he has them drop him off just down the road, where he can walk the way back towards Nate.

By the time he gets there, he's been gone hours. ]

What the fuck are you doing on the roof?!

[cravating]

[He should have gotten back in the car ages ago. Nate knows that. He's practically shivering. All he can think about whenever he thinks about climbing back in the car is that Matt is just as cold as he is, so how is it fair for him to get back in the car?

When he hears that familiar voice, he scrambles to sit up, his limbs stiff from the cold, making moving a little more difficult.]

Matt! You're back!

[byrned]

[ Matt... really doesn't get why he's on the car and not in it. Hadn't he told him to stay safe. Sitting on the car doesn't feel safe to him. ]

Jesus Christ Nathan, the fuck are you doing? [ Somehow his accent seems to thicken to an almost comedy effect. He steps over, looking at him closer as he sets the can down on the floor. ]

You look fecking freezing. Are you okay? What're you doing up there?

[ Maybe cold makes him more Irish idk. ]

[cravating]

[Oh, that accent. Nate would appreciate it more if he didn't feel like his blood was freezing in his veins.]

I just needed some air. Honestly, I'm fine. Did you get the petrol?

[byrned]

Yeah I found a pub would you fucking believe. This bloke helped me out. Enough to get us going. Pointed me in the right direction too, so we should be able to get ourselves moving. Sorry I took so long. But we'll get to the place and get you a warm bath, yeah? You look like your face is freezing.

[ Quickly, he pulls Nate's scarf back off himself, and wraps it around Nate's neck a couple of times. Obviously, it smells of whatever after shave it is Matt wears.

His hand reaches out and rubs at his arm. ]

Get yourself warm, mate. I'll fill the tank up. Go put the heater on and get us going.

[cravating]

[Sliding off of the car roof, Nate steps close to Matt, drawn in instinctively by the promise of body heat. Instead, he gets his scarf wrapped back around him with the lingering scent of Matt. Well, that's not so bad.

Except it doesn't help the way he feels. In fact, it makes it a little worse.]

Yeah, I'll get it started. Be quick about filling her up.

[With a quick little smile, he gets back in the car and does as he's told.]

[byrned]

[ The cottage is nice. Small. Nothing special, but cosy enough and about as far away from the hustle and bustle as their usual life as they can get.

There, in the privacy with Nate, Matt doesn't feel like he has to put on some sort of front. After the first day, the gay jokes start to fade away. Remarkable really, given it's ever present even in their own home. But here? Here Matt seems different, he feels different, like he's in a safe space away from the world.

It's a calm afternoon with the wind blustering outside and a log fire roaring (a log fire which Matt very much enjoyed lighting, much manly activity, wow), that they sit, Matt with his pj bottoms and an old tattered t shirt he got free from the pub. He has his feet up on the couch, one of them resting on Nate's leg, even though he never asked him if that was okay, and he hums to himself as he jots down a few notes, watching as the fading daylight comes through the window and reflects against Nate as he draws something on a pad. ]

You gonna show me that when you're done?

[cravating]

[The first night? Was a bit awkward. Walking into their room, they had found only one bed. Going back down to the people running the desk, they apologized and said that there was some mix up with their reservation. There was nothing to be done, nowhere to move them.

Matt offers to sleep on the sofa. Nate tells him not to be an idiot. They agree to share and that's the last they speak of it. Maybe it feels less gay for Matt if it's not something you speak about.

Sketching away, Nate glances up and blushes a little.]

It's just some landscape stuff. Nothing special.

[byrned]

What have I told you about doing that? You're drawing it. Of course it's special. Go on, let's have a look then.

[cravating]

[He sighs dramatically but turns the sketch pad around to reveal a really nice rendition of the scene just outside their window with other little cottages in the distance in the countryside.]

It's not done yet.

[As if he's apologizing for it.]

[byrned]

[ Matt lifts his head to give the drawing a good look. He can hear that tone, that self depreciating edge, and given their proximity it's pretty easy for him to lift his leg and give Nate a shove with his foot. ]

It's fucking gorgeous, man. When it's finished it'll be even better.

[cravating]

[He exaggerates just how far that push moves him, but cracks a smile.]

What about you? Feeling inspired to compose yet?

[byrned]

I'm writing stuff down but it's all shit. There's no hook to it. I want something that'll give you an emotional punch to the gut, you know?

[cravating]

[He doubts that it's shit. Much like Matt loves every drawing or painting Nate has shown him, Nate can't get enough of Matt's playing, so he imagines his original compositions wouldn't be any different. Only one way to find out, though.]

Play it for me? Please?

[byrned]

[ Matt lets out a noise that's almost like a groan. Like really, seriously? Ughhh. He gives him another shove, but pulls himself up from the sofa and trundles over to where he's set his keyboard up.

He sets the papers out on the top, spreading them out a little as he looks at them ]

Okay but honestly this is going to be shit.

[ He cracks his knuckles and takes a deep breath before he starts to play. The melody is gentle, not quite classical, but softer, almost romantic. It's rough around the edges, unfinished, and stop starts in strange places before coming to a fairly abrupt end. Not unlike him, really. ]

[cravating]

[Nate listens. He really listens. And he gets this look on his face that's a mix of pride and awe. Even with the rough edges and the abrupt end, he loves every second of it because it's Matt. It's just...it's Matt.]

You need to keep at it. That was good, Matt. Really.

[byrned]

[ Matt looks practically bashful. A colour rises to his cheeks and he glances down. He doesn't just dismiss the compliment, because he knows Nate doesn't really say things lightly. ]

Yeah well, I'm glad you like it because it's going to be your birthday present. I know, cheapskate yeah yeah. Shut up.

[cravating]

[That makes him blink and sit up straighter.]

Wait, what? You're serious?

[byrned]

Yeah I'm serious. I mean when it's finished and everything. I'll record it or something, get it put on a CD. I mean if you want. I know it's stupid. Fuck it's really stupid, right? Dunno what I was thinking.

[cravating]

What? No, shut up. Matt- shut up. It's not stupid. It's great. I just... I've never had someone do something like that for me.

[byrned]

Well you have now. And it's only a bit of music. We'll still go to the pub or something.

[ He shrugs it off, but Matt's never seen music like that, it's not little or unimportant, it's everything to him, and he knows Nate knows that. Still, he's his best mate, and he wants to do something for him. Wants him to know how much he appreciates that he's there. He likes their little life, their little flat. It's good. ]

Do you ever think about what we'll do after uni?

[cravating]

[The gift (unfinished though it may be) means more to Nate than he can say. It takes him a moment to answer Matt's question because he's just still floored by the gesture.]

Sometimes, yeah. Still feels pretty far off. Doesn't seem like a real thing I need to worry about yet.