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[byrned]

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[byrned]

[ Matt smirks at the way the words are delivered and he shifts back, pulling his shirt off and getting out of his jeans. He almost trips in the process, but that hardly matters when it's only back onto the bed. He lies there, back against Nate's pillows, his knees open and dick hard between his legs. His own hand pumps himself a couple of times, making a show of it. ]

Come on then, let's see what you've got.

[cravating]

[He takes a deep breath and tells himself that this is okay. It's what they both want. It's...crazy but it's alright. He moves between Matt's legs, pulling his hand away to replace it with his own. He strokes along the length of his cock as he shifts his position to lower himself, getting his face closer to it. Nate gaze shifts up to lock eyes with Matt before he runs his tongue tentatively over the head of his cock. Testing the waters, as it were.]

[byrned]

[ Fuck would you look at that. Matt's had loads of blow jobs but fuck.

But he doesn't hold his gaze, rather he closes his eyes and leans his head back, just feeling it instead. ]

Go on, suck me til I come.

[cravating]

[It would be nice if it didn't feel so...rough. Like a bad porno with all the harsh language and demands. There's just something missing in it, but Nate has wanted to be able to be intimate with Matt for years now, so he's willing to overlook a lot for the sake of feeling closer to him.

So he does as he's asked. He takes Matt into his mouth, bobbing his head, using his lips and tongue to try to please him.]

[byrned]

[ Lying back, there's still a voice in his head that tells him this is wrong. It isn't because this is a man, nothing to do with it being gay, though that gives him enough to fan the flames. This is because it's Nate. It's because he --even without all the alcohol-- wants him. He wants him with every fibre of his being, and in a way that sleeping with all the women he can never makes up for what he really wants.

Truly, his dick isn't as hard as it could be, and his body is more numb that it should be. But then the amount of alcohol he's been drinking of late will do that.

Still, even with that it doesn't take long at all before he's feeling himself close, feeling himself tip towards an edge. ]

I'm gonna come [ he warns him, as his hips buckle towards his mouth ]

[cravating]

[Nate knows this isn't Matt's best. He's heard enough through their walls to know better. But it's still them. Together. And he's too in love with this idiot man to be upset for this drunken stupor being all he can get.

At Matt's warning, he pulls back and strokes him, moving up a bit so that Matt can finish on his chest and torso.]

Go on. Come for me.

[byrned]

[ He opens his eyes again, looking over at him through the blur and haze. Fuck, he remembers this. he remembers those dreams.

He's not sure if it's quite the act or the memory that which does it, that has him crying out as his body tenses and he pours out at speed, coming over Nate's chest and hand, milking the last of him. ]

Fuck that's nice. Fuck. Oh jesus Nate. [ He looks over him, watching the way his come drips down Nate's stomach ]. Give me ten minutes and I'll be ready to fuck you into next week.

[cravating]

[He gives a light laugh and pushes himself up to stand beside the bed.]

Alright. You rest up then. I'm gonna clean up.

[And he heads to the bathroom to do that.]

[byrned]

[ But in ten minutes, he isn't ready. In ten minutes he's far from it. When Nate leaves the room he shifts a bit on the bed. His head is swimming, and so he closes his eyes.

Just for a minute, he closes his eyes. Maybe this way things will start to right themselves.

But no, they don't, and by the time Nate returns he's not raring to go, but rather fast asleep, stark naked with his dick now limp, and snoring. ]

[cravating]

[Coming back into his room, Nate's not terribly surprised. Some mild disappointment flickers across his expression, but instead of lingering in that, he just grabs his crumpled duvet and pulls it over Matt, covering him up. He finds a bun and puts it next to the bed, just in case. He even gets a glass of water and sets it up on the night stand beside the bed.

Pulling his jeans and tshirt back on, Nate looks at his best friend and wonders what tomorrow will be like. Will they talk about it? Will Matt even remember?

With all these thoughts and too many others running through his head, Nate goes and makes himself comfortable on the sofa, content to sleep there for the night.]

[byrned]

[ Matt doesn't wake until morning, with the usual headache that seems the norm of late. His brain feels like its trying to escape, as the pain pounds behind his eyes. It takes him a moment to shift to his side, to reach towards his bedside table. But it isn't his bedside table, and it isn't in the same place.

He sits up with a start, as it all starts to rush back to him, or at least everything his mind can recall.

He's fucked it all up. Fucked everything up. How can he possibly face Nate? And where the fuck is Nate? He doesn't know, but he knows he can't see him, and so he stands, pulling on his clothes that lie discarded on the floor, racing to get dressed so he can get out.

He grabs his wallet, and heads towards the door, bypassing the front room altogether. He doesn't see Nate there on the couch.

And he doesn't come back for two weeks. ]

[cravating]

[It's the worst two weeks of Nate's life, wondering what happened to him, if he's alright, if he's alive. But then he just shows back up and acts like nothing happened. None of it. Nate doesn't know what to say, what to do. He just carries on, stealing awkward glances every now and then.

Another week goes by and Matt keeps drinking. Nate just ignores it. He stays in his room most nights, just avoiding his flatmate as much as he can. But one night, he doesn't come home stumbling drunk. One night, he comes home angry.]

[byrned]

[ Matt is practically shaking with fear. Fear, anger, he doesn't know. Only thing he does know is his skin is crawling. He feels physically sick, and he knows just why.

Earlier that night, Lucy met up with him, but it wasn't for a nice chat, it was for her to pull him aside and give him a lecture about how he's a prick and 'do you know how much you're putting Nathan through with all of this'.

It didn't tell him anything, no, but he thinks it did. Enough at least. Enough to start a panic.

So when he walks back into the flat, he slams the door behind him with so much power that it shakes the walls. ]

Nathan? Are you here? You better get out here right fucking now.

[cravating]

[From his room, Nate just calls back.]

You're fucking drunk, mate. Im not arguing with you when you're like this.

[byrned]

[ He doesn't reply to that, but he does follow the voice, heading towards Nate's bedroom to find him in there. ]

You fucking told her. You told Lucy you fucking piece of shit.

[cravating]

[Well, that has his attention. Nate sits up straighter in bed, looking incredibly confused.]

Told her--? Matt, I didn't tell her anything.

[byrned]

Don't you fucking lie to me you wanker. You fucking told her. Or else why the fuck does she need to tell me how much I'm hurting you.

Get the fuck out here now. I'm not talking to you in here.

[ He turns, storms out into the corridor. He remembers (mostly) what happened in that room. He doesn't want to be there again. ]

[cravating]

[This is bad. This is a bad idea. Fuck. But Nate gets up and heads out of his room.]

She doesn't know anything, Matt. She's probably just on about you being a drunk prick lately. You're hurting more than just me. You know she's protective of me. Just- fuck sit down and I'll get you some water. Please.

[byrned]

I don't want any fucking water, princess. Now who the hell have you been fucking telling about what we did?

[ It's the first time he's mentioned it, the first time he's even acknowledged it. But there it is. ]

And you better not fucking lie to me.

[cravating]

No one! Don't worry- no one knows about your fucking drunken mistake.

[He can't keep the hurt out of his voice.]

[byrned]

Oh don't give me those big sad fucking eyes Nathan. Poor you, right? Boo fucking hoo. Don't you dare.
[
Because frankly, he's terrified what will happen if he does. ]

[cravating]

I'm not giving you anything! But you need to calm down. [He takes a hesitant step towards him and reaches out with one hand.]

It's just me, yeah? Me and you. Same as always.

[byrned]

[ His heart starts to race as Nate reaches out towards him. He feels like knocking him back, like pushing him away, but he doesn't. Not yet anyway. ]

Same as always? How is this the same as always, Nathan?

[cravating]

It's alright. Nothing has to change. You were drunk. You didn't really want it. I get it. It's alright.

[byrned]

And I suppose you know everything I want, do you?