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[byrned]

 gonna put gifs here

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[cravating]

Little bit. [He doesn't even try to hide it.]

You should let me play big spoon sometime. You might like it.

[byrned]

Ohhh I dunno. [ He makes an overblown noise as if he's thinking about it. ] Lie behind me and you might get all horny and get ideas.

[cravating]

You might like my ideas. [He says and then takes a big bite of bread.]

[byrned]

[ He laughs again, and eats a little of his pasta before speaking with his mouth full. ]

Oh now he's getting ideas. What if I'm getting ideas too eh? We've just got ideas all over the place.

[cravating]

We could just have an idea brainstorming party, couldn't we?

[byrned]

Shit you really take all this gay stuff seriously. Is there like some entrance exam I've got to pass here?

[cravating]

Pretty sure you've passed any entrance exams I might have for you.

[byrned]

[ that makes him almost choke with laughter like a schoolboy trying to keep a straight face ]

Oh babe wow that was bad even for you. But stop it because you're going to turn me on and I won't be able to finish my pasta.

[ he smirks slowly as he has a drink from his water glass ]

[cravating]

Sorry, sorry. I'll behave. [No, he probably won't.]

[byrned]

Now I wouldn't go that far. Don't be hasty here.

[ He focuses on his food again. For all of ten seconds. ]

So you uh, wanna be the big spoon eh?

[cravating]

[He stops mid chew and raises his eyebrows.]

Well... I mean, I wouldn't mind.

[byrned]

I'm not asking if you fancy a cup of tea here, Nate. Come on.

[cravating]

[His fingers gently curl around Matt's hand, giving a reflexive sort of squeeze.]

I just mean-- well, I don't have to, but if you were ever okay with it? Yeah, I'd like it. But I just figured that might be too...

[gay. Too gay. That's what Matt has said about other stuff he just assumed.]

[byrned]

[ It is pretty gay, and he's not going to lie that it would be easy. But that doesn't mean it isn't worth doing. He's trying to get over his stupid hang ups, because he knows they'd ridiculous. ]

Gay? You're a man. I'm a man. Everything we do is pretty high on the gay scale. This [ he gestures to their hands ] is pretty high on there.

Some prick I'd be if I didn't let my boyfriend do stuff because I was worried about shit like that. Now I'm not saying today mind. But we'll get to it.

[cravating]

[Nate just sits there, staring at him for a moment. In the candlelight there might be some glint of tears visible in his eyes. Not for the topic at hand exactly but for all of it-- Matt being more open about...all of this. Without warning, he stands up and leans across the table, capturing Matt's lips in a kiss, accidentally knocking over the bowl of bread between them.

Whoops. Not that he notices.]

[byrned]

[ for a second when Nate gets up Matt worries he's done something wrong. But oh no, kissing. Ok that's good. Kisses are definitely good.

God it's good to kiss him. He's not sure he'll ever get tired of that being a thing they can do, of the fact he can lace his fingers info that thick mop of curls.

So he just smiles, lips to lips, no fucks given about the bread. When he talks, it's still with mouths pressed close. ]

What was that for? Not that I'm complaining.

[cravating]

[Nate has to be careful of the candle on the table, but other than that, he's content to just go on kissing Matt for a moment.]

You're amazing, you know that? Seriously. [He pulls back a little and looks into Matt's eyes, those tears more visible now even if they haven't fallen yet.]

You've just... you've come so far with all of this, the way you see it. I'm just so damn proud of you.

[byrned]

[ Matt doesn't do choked up much, but he is now. Rendered almost speechless as he struggles to find the right words. When he does speak its quietly, and with his thumb gently wiping Nate's cheek. ]

I'm not amazing. I'm just a prick that was scared of his own feelings. You're the amazing one. Being here with me after everything. Not many people would do that. But you Nate. You're my angel, you know that? Ever since I met you.

[cravating]

[They way he calls him that- his angel- it makes Nate feel like his heart might burst from how it swells with joy and love. It's a feeling he never thought could be real- that it was a made up thing from the movies.]

I love you. [He says quietly, just because he can. Slowly, he pulls back to sit himself back down again.]

You should eat. Before we end up too distracted.

[They tend to do that.]

[byrned]

You say that like it would be a bad thing. [ he smirks as Nate sits down, and puts a bit more pasta in his mouth. ]

You know it's crazy all of this. This feels way more normal than I thought. No I don't mean normal I mean right. You know. You. Me. This. And don't get me wrong it still fucking terrifies me but I don't care what it makes me. If that's gay or bi or whatever. Even after everything you're still there. And that's crazy you know. All this I could have missed out on.

[ he leans back a little in his chair ]

Ok. So when was the first time you thought of me like not a friend thought of me?

[cravating]

[He's thoughtful, giving that question some time. Part of him wants to linger in the rest of what Matt said, because it's just so nice to hear. And he's so proud of Matt for how far he's come with all of this.]

I don't know, really. I mean there wasn't any one moment. The night we kissed when you were drunk, maybe. Definitely before we got our flat. Lucy thought I was an idiot. She knew how I felt. Saw through me like she always does.

[byrned]

I miss her. Luce. I mean she hates me now and fair enough. You know when you tell her about us she's going to erupt.

I still can't believe I don't remember that. Kissing you. I'll just have to do loads more of it now to make up for it. You know I think part of me probably fancied you straight away. I was so pressed how you didn't like me.

[ he starts to laugh and shakes his head ]. You really didn't like me.

[cravating]

I really didn't. But you grew on me. Now I can't imagine a day without you.

As for Luce... She doesn't hate you. Well- maybe a bit. But she'll come around. She just wants me happy. And safe. So once she sees that I'm good? She'll get over the rest.

[byrned]

Yeah well I'm not gonna be there when you tell her. I'll leave that one to you. But yeah, sure, she'll come round and you two can share 'shagging Matt' stories or something.

And what was that you said about me growing? [ He wiggles his brows a bit and winks. ]

You know this is actually kinda nice. With the lights out. You look hot by candlelight. You'd look even hotter if you were naked, mind.

[cravating]

I'm not really interested in swapping stories with her about that, thanks. Heard enough about it when we were in uni.

[He blushes a little about the rest, though.]

Could break out the candles a bit more often, maybe.